Gizele12
Posts : 110 Join date : 2010-11-18
| Subject: The Fall of Darkness Wed Feb 23, 2011 6:40 pm | |
| Introduction - Death I ran through the dark paths of the surroundings of the Nightray house. The cold air of the night brought me back to reason and I realized how foolish I had been. I guess we all have our insane times when we make decisions without thinking, but some decisions affect ourselves more than others, and mine couldn’t have had worse outcome.
At last I stopped, my legs and body refused to continue running any longer, my mind and soul were too tired to think, so I let myself rest on the cold ground covered by dead leaves and mud. Once I felt a bit more recovered I started to ratiocinate. Why was I there? Near one of the noble Houses? To say it in other words, how did I get to such a place? Well, now there was nothing to do about it. I took off my black shirt and looked at my chest, and there it was, the clock that was the symbol of an illegal contractor, a person whose life was doomed, not only the clock but the taste of the blood of that black chain with big yellow eyes reminded me of that moment, when terror and excitement took over my soul.
But I really wasn’t supposed to do that, that chain didn’t belong to me, it was the Nightray’s, and I had just stolen it, it was almost like a mysterious force had driven me to that place and made the contract with it. They should be looking for me at that very moment, I would never be forgiven. When that thought got to my mind I noticed, I was completely exposed on the street, any passerby would be able to see me; if I stayed there any longer I’d be found for sure.
In no time I forced myself up and restarted my run for life, there was no time. The time passed slowly, I couldn’t live with the pressure, any light, every shadow that reached my eyes could be my death, I had to keep going, I couldn’t stop until I got home. And, surprisingly, I got there, it was still dark and my wife and children were still asleep, I couldn’t let any danger fall upon them because of me. So I ran up to my room and started packing, as soon as I left the better. I t was then that I heard a knock on the door and, with caution, went down to see who it was. Duo to the darkness outside I was unable to see any more details, but what I saw was the shadow of a not very tall, slim man covered with a black cloak. I couldn’t have guessed. Just when I opened the door and stayed face-to-face with him a silver pistol was pressed on my forehead, the bullet penetrated my skull, my body fell motionless on the ground and in that dark moment… I died. So... I finally was brave enough to start my fanfic, I know this Intro isn't the best thing ever and that no one can really understand any of the plot through it, but you guys will understand once I post the 1st chapter. ^^ Critiques and opnions are welcome. Hope you like it. | |
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Leo
Posts : 1460 Join date : 2011-02-02 Age : 31 Location : Abyss
| Subject: Re: The Fall of Darkness Wed Feb 23, 2011 7:36 pm | |
| Congrats on your 1st PH fanfic (if I remember correctly)!!!!! The intro is thrilling enough! It makes me want to read more to find out what's going on. Can't wait to see the 1st chapter!!! There are a few mistakes here and there but those can be fixed =w= I can point them out if you want ~ But overall, good job!!!!! | |
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Gizele12
Posts : 110 Join date : 2010-11-18
| Subject: Re: The Fall of Darkness Wed Feb 23, 2011 8:51 pm | |
| Thanks Leo! You can point my mistkes? That's awesome! <-- fails for never readin anything she's written twice to search for mistakes x.x
Also i forgot to tell something, this story happens in the time when Oz was trapped in the abyss (let's say it's like a parallel universe where we don't only jump to him out of it ^^) And, well, I guess I'd rather let you wait to see what happens. | |
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Leo
Posts : 1460 Join date : 2011-02-02 Age : 31 Location : Abyss
| Subject: Re: The Fall of Darkness Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:38 pm | |
| Don't worry Gizele XD I'm the same. In fact, I never reread my essays after I write them T__T I'll send you a PM about the mistakes =w= ~
And wow, the settings sound interesting. Want to read more!!1 | |
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Sharon Rainsworth
Posts : 554 Join date : 2010-11-20 Age : 27
| Subject: Re: The Fall of Darkness Thu Feb 24, 2011 7:53 am | |
| Yaaay!!! Congrats!!! The intro is so intresting!!! Good job Gizzie!!! XDDD | |
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Leo
Posts : 1460 Join date : 2011-02-02 Age : 31 Location : Abyss
| Subject: Re: The Fall of Darkness Sun Feb 27, 2011 11:15 pm | |
| "Gizzie" LOL XD XD XD Well it sounds really cute =w= When will the 1st chapter come out?? | |
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Gizele12
Posts : 110 Join date : 2010-11-18
| Subject: Re: The Fall of Darkness Mon Feb 28, 2011 5:19 pm | |
| I forgot to type it. x.x I'll try to post it this week, I'm really having a lot of work to do lately (school sucks) but I'll do my best. ^^ | |
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Sharon Rainsworth
Posts : 554 Join date : 2010-11-20 Age : 27
| Subject: Re: The Fall of Darkness Fri Mar 04, 2011 6:53 pm | |
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Leo
Posts : 1460 Join date : 2011-02-02 Age : 31 Location : Abyss
| Subject: Re: The Fall of Darkness Wed Mar 16, 2011 6:32 pm | |
| Gizele~! Don't leave me in suspense like this ;A; What's going to happen next? | |
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