Drabbles }} Crack Fanfiction in 5 Minutes!

@Break: *dies laughing* i love the Sebby x Grell ones the best! XDDDDD

I finally tried this out...XDDDDDD God it's fun!!

I made a Gilscar one <3 It's my fav crack pairing.

"Epicly Tripping

Oscar tripped along idiotically. He was on his way to meet his lover, Gilbert, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a cat hopping along, carrying a Michael Jackson cd in its mouth.

Oscar was almost on a mother f***ing boat when he came across a retarded cake, lying alone on a flippin' awesome plate. "That must be a treat from my shitty bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked wtf-ish, so he ate it.

It gave him the most hidious tingling sensation in his butt. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Gilbert.

When Gilbert came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Oscar cried foolishly.

"Your adam's apple! And your shin!" Gilbert said. "They're epic! Can't you feel it?"

Oscar felt his adam's apple and his shin. They were indeed quite epic. "Oh, no!" Oscar said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that retarded cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Gilbert said. "I got you a porno. It must have been that hairy man who lives nearby. He acts a little sexily, ever since he humped a fried chicken."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Oscar sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Gilbert said obnoxiously, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your adam's apple is really hackin' amazing like that."

"Really?" Oscar dried her tears. Oscar kissed Gilbert and it was an entirely goofy sensation, like a clown on a unicycle that had a chicken shoved down his pants.

They spent the night having entirely goofy sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that. "

LMAO that funny oz

i might do a sebby x clude one later

The Glossy Terror Of The Snow

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Clude and Sebby went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Clude hit Sebby in his Cock with a big Underwear iceball. It hurt a lot, but Clude kissed it Hyper and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really Pregnant snow man!" Clude said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Sebby said. "That would be more Curly and politically correct."

"I know," Clude said. "We can make a snow Cow. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up Embrassed and made a Bog snow Cow. Clude put on a Garlic for the Bottom. The Cow was almost as big as Sebby.

"It looks Itchy," Clude said Turned On. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Sebby said and held up a Sticky Banana. "I found this On a Toilet." He put the Banana onto the Cow's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the Cow, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl I'm one hell of a butler.

Sebby screamed Insane and ran but the snow Cow chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow Cow humped him Laughing.

"Nobody does that to my little Ding-a-ling Bacon," Clude screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow Cow through the Leg. It fell down and Clude kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Sebby said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The Banana lay in the yard until a Hairy child picked it up and took it home.

The Battle For The Bacon

On a Toilet, Sebby humped his Bacon. He had been busy with the Bacon for hours and now wanted nothing more than a Curly cuddle or a Glossy massage from his lover Clude.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his Hairy Clude appeared at the door, grinning Embrassed.

"Put down the Bacon," Clude said Insane. "Unless you want me to hump that Bacon on your Leg."

Sebby put down the Bacon. He was Bog. He had never seen Clude so Ding-a-ling before and it made him Underwear.

Clude picked up the Bacon, then withdrew a Banana from his Bottom. "Don't be so Bog," Clude said with a Ding-a-ling grimace. "A Cow bit my Cock this morning, and everything became Sticky. Now with this Bacon and this Banana I can Insane rule the world!"

Sebby clutched his Itchy Cock Laughing. This was his lover, his Hairy Clude, now staring at him with a Ding-a-ling Bottom.

"Fight it!" Sebby shouted. "The Cow just wants the Bacon for his own Hairy devices! He doesn't love you, not the Curly way I do!"

Sebby could see Clude trembling Laughing. Sebby reached out his Leg and touched Clude's Bottom Insane. He was Hairy, so Hairy, but he knew only his Itchy love for Clude would break the Cow's spell.

Sure enough, Clude dropped the Bacon with a thunk. "Oh, Sebby," he squealed. "I'm so Curly, can you ever forgive me?"

But Sebby had already moved On a Toilet. I'm one hell of a butler, he pressed his Leg into Clude's Bottom. And as they fell together in a Sticky fit of love, the Bacon lay on the floor, Underwear and forgotten.

The Adventure Of The Cow

Sebby and Clude were out for a Curly Valentine's walk On a Toilet. As they went, Clude rested his hand on Sebby's Cock. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so Hairy, Sebby was filled with Sticky dread.

"Do you suppose it's Underwear here?" he asked Insane.

"You Glossy silly," Clude said, tickling Sebby with his Banana. "It's completely Itchy."

Just then, a Ding-a-ling Cow leapt out from behind a Bacon and humped Clude in the Bottom. "Aaargh!" Clude screamed.

Things looked Bog. But Sebby, although he was Pregnant, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a Garlic and, I'm one hell of a butler, beat the Cow Hyper until it ran off. "That will teach you to hump innocent people."

Then he clasped Clude close. Clude was bleeding Turned On. "My darling," Sebby said, and pressed his lips to Clude's Leg.

"I love you," Clude said Laughing, and expired in Sebby's arms.

Sebby never loved again.

Turned On Tripping

Sebby tripped along Embrassed. He was on his way to meet his lover, Clude, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a Cow hopping along, carrying a Banana in its mouth.

Sebby was almost On a Toilet when he came across a Bog cake, lying alone on a Ding-a-ling plate. "That must be a treat from my Itchy bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked Sticky, so he ate it.

It gave him the most Curly tingling sensation in his Leg. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Clude.

When Clude came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Sebby cried Hyper.

"Your Bottom! And your Cock!" Clude said. "They're Pregnant! Can't you feel it?"

Sebby felt his Bottom and his Cock. They were indeed quite Pregnant. "Oh, no!" Sebby said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that Bog cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Clude said. "I got you a Garlic. It must have been that Underwear man who lives nearby. He acts a little Laughing, ever since he humped a Bacon."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Sebby sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Clude said Insane, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your Bottom is really Glossy like that."

"Really?" Sebby dried her tears. Sebby kissed Clude and it was an entirely Hairy sensation, I'm one hell of a butler.

They spent the night having entirely Hairy sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

Oh man... its Spongebob. XDD

Cutely Tripping

Patrick Star tripped along pervertedly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Spongebob Squarepants, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a snail hopping along, carrying a nice boat in its mouth.

Patrick Star was almost on a boat that Spongebob wrecked years ago when he came across a hollow cake, lying alone on a pourous plate. "That must be a treat from my fat bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked awesome, so he ate it.

It gave him the most hot tingling sensation in his face. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Spongebob Squarepants.

When Spongebob Squarepants came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Patrick Star cried funnily.

"Your head! And your neck!" Spongebob Squarepants said. "They're yellow! Can't you feel it?"

Patrick Star felt his head and his neck. They were indeed quite yellow. "Oh, no!" Patrick Star said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that hollow cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Spongebob Squarepants said. "I got you a vuvuzela. It must have been that pink man who lives nearby. He acts a little creepily, ever since he licked a square pants."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Patrick Star sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Spongebob Squarepants said softly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your head is really spongy like that."

"Really?" Patrick Star dried her tears. Patrick Star kissed Spongebob Squarepants and it was an entirely smexy sensation, like a fish that just got a speeding ticket.

They spent the night having entirely smexy sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

My favorite. XDDD

Spongy Love

Spongy Love

Patrick Star finished packing. Ever since Spongebob Squarepants, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Patrick Star had been hollow.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing licked him, all was hot. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going on a boat that Spongebob wrecked years ago to become a pink vuvuzela.

Just then, there was a smexy knock at the door. Patrick Star opened it and stood there pervertedly for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his head.

When Patrick Star came to, Spongebob Squarepants was holding his neck and looking fat. "My love," Spongebob Squarepants said cutely, "I'm sorry for the yellow shock. I've been shipwrecked on a pourous island for the last ten years, living like a fish that just got a speeding ticket. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my face in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Patrick Star could hardly believe his Spongebob Squarepants had returned. "I will always love you, face or no face. Besides, you can cover it up with a square pants."

They embraced funnily and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was awesome.

lol those are funny emily XD

Ptfff I love those, Emily. 8DDDDD SpongebobxPatrick ftw! -shot-

I'm tempted to write another one. XD But this time I'm gonna try and come up with another crack pairing. Something really bizarre.....wait a sec. I think I got one. <3 But now the darn site won't load for me. D; Gaooooo!

One for Oz ^^

1000 Cookie Sharks

Neji paced Neatly back and forth. Pretty dread filled his heart. Oz should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like her to be late. Oh, my Beautiful love, Neji thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Oz had been taken hostage by Nice Toe, a supervillain who had the city in a state of Amazing terror. Neji fainted dead away, The two danced around and ate Moon Cheese..

When he came to, there was a bump on his Lips and the Pretty dread had returned. "Oz, my Mean honey bunny," he cried out safety. "What is Nice Toe doing to you?" Probably torturing her, laughing Quickly as he Jumped her in the Head.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Neji remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 Cookie Sharks, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Neji ordered in a supply of Cookie and set to work, folding Sharks until his Lips was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last Shark when Oz walked in the front door.

"Oz!" Neji screamed and threw himself into Oz's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 Cookie Sharks and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing On the Moon. He kissed Oz Always on the Head.

"Actually," Oz said, pulling away Slowly, "I was rescued by the Yellow Animal. He's a new superhero in town." Oz sighed. "And he's really Thin."

The Pretty dread came back. "But you're Interesting to be back here with me, right?"

Oz checked her watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Yellow Animal for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay Amazing, baby." She left and the door banged behind her.

Neji choked back a sob and started folding another Shark. Then he went out and got drunk instead.

XD nice one leo

The Pregnant Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Italy strode along the path, making for Dangly Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Sticky Cheese, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Cock.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his Hard Pasta just in time to face the Mr Toilet Man man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The man struck Hyper, and Italy barely raised his Pasta to meet the attack. They fought long and Laughing until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Italy found himself forced to one knee, the man's Pasta pressed to his Danceing Nose. "I am Switzerland of Dangly Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Sticky Cheese. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on a toilet."

But Italy had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his Pasta with a twist, overpowered Switzerland and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Italy said, looking down upon him.

Switzerland's Bottom shimmered I Started My Period. "I have underestimated you, Italy. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Italy's desire was enflamed. His Nose throbbed and all his thoughts were to Hump Switzerland like a Pig. Italy caressed Switzerland's Bell Bottom and he responded. They came together Turned On, and their joining was as Panties as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet Hotdog!" Italy groaned and Humped Switzerland as Blushs as he could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Italy said. "That's where I put the Sticky Cheese for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed Embrassed on the grass, forgetful of all but their Rubber Duck love. "We will stay together forever," Switzerland said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Cock never got the Sticky Cheese and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

A Danceing Day To Hump

Italy stepped Hyper out into the Bell sunshine, and admired Switzerland's Bottom. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a Hard sight."

Switzerland climbed off the Pasta and walked Embrassed across the grass to greet his lover. Italy patted Switzerland on the Cock and then tried to Hump him Blushs, but without success.

"That's all right," Switzerland said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not Sticky," Italy. "Not as Sticky as the time we Humped on a toilet."

Switzerland nodded Laughing. "We were Dangly back in those days."

"Our Noses were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Italy said. "Everything seems Rubber Duck and Panties when you're young."

"Of course," Switzerland said. "But now we're Pregnant, we can still have fun. If we go about it Turned On."

"Turned On?" Italy said . "But how?"

"With this," Switzerland said and held out a Mr Toilet Man Hotdog. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to Hump."

Italy swallowed the Hotdog at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to Hump Turned On. They Humped I Started My Period. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

Dangly Love

Italy finished packing. Ever since Switzerland, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Italy had been Rubber Duck.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing Humped him, all was Pregnant. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going on a toilet to become a Hard Cheese.

Just then, there was a Danceing knock at the door. Italy opened it and stood there Laughing for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his Cock.

When Italy came to, Switzerland was holding his Bottom and looking Sticky. "My love," Switzerland said Blushs, "I'm sorry for the Bell shock. I've been shipwrecked on a Mr Toilet Man island for the last ten years, living I Started My Period. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my Nose in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Italy could hardly believe his Switzerland had returned. "I will always love you, Nose or no Nose. Besides, you can cover it up with a Pasta."

They embraced Turned On and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was Panties.

@Leo-

I love it!! 8DDDD XD Thank you!

Poor Neji. XD


@Break-

Oh God. XDDDD I love these ItalyxSwitzerland ones!

@ Oz
I idnt think Neji was a drunkie Xp

>w> it looked fun so i tried one out

The Miracle Of The Cat

Gil hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it Like a fangirl fighting for yaoi!. He loathed it.

Every December, Gil would feel himself getting all hideous inside. He refused to put up a Christmas lemon, he snapped at anyone handsom enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Gil had to go to the mall to buy a cute meat. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing expeditiously around and so much Christmas music blaring boldly, he thought his leg would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a loud man collecting for charity. Gil never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the loud man dropped his bells and ran on the beach. There was a muffled Cat right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the loud man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Gil rushed out and Slowy pushed them both out of the way. There was a huge bang and then everything went dark.

When Gil woke up, he was in a cold room. There was a Christmas lemon in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Gil's neck hurt. A lot.

The loud man came into the room. "I'm so small!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Oz. You saved me from the truck. But your neck is broken." (Whats so small Oz ;D / wouldn't Gil be dead if his neck broke)

Gil hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas lemon up and his neck was broken, he felt quite noisey, especially when he looked at Oz.

"Your neck must hurt quickly," Oz said. "I think this will help." And he licked Gil several times.

Now Gil felt very noisey indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Oz. "I love you," he said, and kissed Oz patiently.

"I love you too," said Oz. Just then, the Cat ran into the room and nuzzled Gil's hand. "I brought him home with us," Oz said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Gil said. "Our Christmas Miracle." (o.o but but but but GIL HATES CATS D:)

It was the best Christmas ever.

@Break: Everytime I read your drabbles, I always see three reacurring words: Pregnant, Mr. Toilet Man, and Panties.

... |D?

And here a WTFISTHIS drabble:

The Yukkuri Princess

Rin Kaenbyou was walking through an awesome meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around her head when she spied a smexy little Yukkuri lying under a tree.

Rin Kaenbyou skipped over to see the dear thing and was hot to find that she was hurt! A knife had pierced her nuclear little leg and she whimpered protectingly with the pain.

"My sad little friend," Rin Kaenbyou said. "Let me help you!" She took out her Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the knife, as softly as she could. The Yukkuri cried out and Rin Kaenbyou's heart ached, like a nuclear explosion. "You'll be all right," Rin Kaenbyou whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Utsuho Reiuji and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Utsuho Reiuji up in her arms, Rin Kaenbyou carried her home and made a bed for her beside her own. For seven days and seven nights, Rin Kaenbyou nursed Utsuho Reiuji, cleaning her leg and feeding her 9 Ball-brand Yukkuri chow.

On the eighth night, Utsuho Reiuji climbed into bed with Rin Kaenbyou. She burrowed under the covers and hurriedly smooched Rin Kaenbyou's face. It made Rin Kaenbyou giggle and she cuddled close to Utsuho Reiuji, stroking her tail and singing pervertedly to her.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Rin Kaenbyou hurried home so she could curl up with Utsuho Reiuji. It gave her a smokin feeling whenever Utsuho Reiuji smooched her face.

Then one night, Utsuho Reiuji looked up at Rin Kaenbyou and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a golden princess."

Rin Kaenbyou screamed magically, she was so surprised. How could a Yukkuri talk? She must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Utsuho Reiuji said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Rin Kaenbyou said and kissed Utsuho Reiuji on her tail. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a golden princess! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Princess Utsuho Reiuji," she said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Rin Kaenbyou said.

"See?" Utsuho Reiuji said and showed Rin Kaenbyou the scar from the knife on her leg. Then she kissed Rin Kaenbyou and they tumbled in Hell and did a lot of very loving things, some of them involving a scared wheel cart.

"I love you," Utsuho Reiuji said when they were done. Rin Kaenbyou clasped her close and they lived together happily ever after on all the princess treasure Utsuho Reiuji had stashed away.

And if Utsuho Reiuji didn't know about Rin Kaenbyou's visits to the Yukkuri sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt her.

[[*laughs hard*]]

A Dog In Time
On a dirty and weird morning, Oz sat on a boat. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His foot ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Gilbert to love someone with a happy ear?

Quickly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a retarded cake-y computer, all on a summer's day. I wish my Gilbert would lol me, in his own epic way..."

"Do you?" Gilbert sat down beside Oz and put his hand on Oz's fingernail. "I think that could be arranged."

Oz gasped epicly. "But what about my happy ear?"

"I like it," Gilbert said stupidly. "I think it's moist."

They came together and their kiss was like sex on a rainbow on fire in teh skyy!!.

"I love you," Oz said winfully.

"I love you too," Gilbert replied and loled him.

They bought a platypus, moved in together, and lived silently ever after.

========================

I'm Dreaming Of A Happy Christmas
It was Christmas Eve. Oz sat epicly on a boat, sipping retarded eggnog.

He looked at the moist VAHJAYJAYH hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Gilbert had hung it there, just before they looked at each other silently and then fell into each other's arms and loled each other's ear.

If only I hadn't been so cake-y, Oz thought, pouring a dirty amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Gilbert might not have got so epic and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a stupid tear and held his foot in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a mean voice lifted winfully up in song.



I'm dreaming of a happy Christmas

Just like sex on a rainbow on fire in teh skyy!!



Oz ran to the door. It was Gilbert, looking weird all over with snow.

"I missed you quickly," Gilbert said. "And I wanted to lol your ear again."

Oz hugged Gilbert and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Gilbert said.

"I think so too," Oz said and they loled each other's ear until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted platypus fingernail and lived stupidly until Oz got drunk again.

HAHAHAHAH!!

The Battle For The City

On a cloud, Oz facked her city. She had been busy with the city for hours and now wanted nothing more than an innapropriate cuddle or an amazing massage from her lover Oz.

She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her loud Oz appeared at the door, grinning tiredly.

"Put down the city," Oz said slowly. "Unless you want me to fack that city on your arm."

Oz put down the city. She was facking. She had never seen Oz so stupid before and it made her shiny.

Oz picked up the city, then withdrew a girl from his ear. "Don't be so facking," Oz said with a stupid grimace. "A horse bit my leg this morning, and everything became clear. Now with this city and this girl I can slowly rule the world!"

Oz clutched her epic leg awesomely. This was her lover, her loud Oz, now staring at her with a stupid ear.

"Fight it!" Oz shouted. "The horse just wants the city for his own loud devices! He doesn't love you, not the innapropriate way I do!"

Oz could see Oz trembling awesomely. Oz reached out her arm and touched Oz's ear slowly. She was loud, so loud, but she knew only her epic love for Oz would break the horse's spell.

Sure enough, Oz dropped the city with a thunk. "Oh, Oz," he squealed. "I'm so innapropriate, can you ever forgive me?"

But Oz had already moved on a cloud. Like an Oz omnoming on cookies, she pressed her arm into Oz's ear. And as they fell together in a clear fit of love, the city lay on the floor, shiny and forgotten.

Well I got one...

The Tiger Prince

Oz was walking through a filthy meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a nutty little tiger lying under a tree.

Oz skipped over to see the dear thing and was angry to find that he was hurt! A meadow had pierced his grieving little armpit and he whimpered blindly with the pain.

"My dangerous little friend," Oz said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the meadow, as disgracefully as he could. The tiger cried out and Oz's heart ached, A beautiful field, full of jackasses. "You'll be all right," Oz whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Gilbert Nightray and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Gilbert Nightray up in his arms, Oz carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Oz nursed Gilbert Nightray, cleaning his armpit and feeding him Leaf-brand tiger chow.

On the eighth night, Gilbert Nightray climbed into bed with Oz. He burrowed under the covers and faintly punched Oz's head. It made Oz giggle and he cuddled close to Gilbert Nightray, stroking his cock and singing affectionately to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Oz hurried home so he could curl up with Gilbert Nightray. It gave him a deafening feeling whenever Gilbert Nightray punched his head.

Then one night, Gilbert Nightray looked up at Oz and said, "If you kiss me, I will become an idiotic prince."

Oz screamed hotily, he was so surprised. How could a tiger talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Gilbert Nightray said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Oz said and kissed Gilbert Nightray on his cock. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood an idiotic prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Gilbert Nightray," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Oz said.

"See?" Gilbert Nightray said and showed Oz the scar from the meadow on his armpit. Then he kissed Oz and they tumbled on a city and did a lot of very sparkling things, some of them involving a kickass louse.

"I love you," Gilbert Nightray said when they were done. Oz clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Gilbert Nightray had stashed away.

And if Gilbert Nightray didn't know about Oz's visits to the tiger sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.




I see a thousand things wrong with this.